Beta Breakers

Welp... San Francisco. Beta Breakers (Actually called 'Bay to Breakers' but I didn't figure that out for a while). It happened. 'Bout the closest thing I was gonna get to Trail Days (currently happening on the other side of America). And it was pretty awesome. 

The day didn't exactly start out normal I suppose. There was some preemptive epicness that preceded the day to come. First off, I woke hope in the house of one of my dearest friends Obie. Second, we ate bacon waffles for breakfast. Why? 'Cause 'Merica. Then me and Obie headed out to San Francisco via BART.  We were headed to Beta Breakers. All I knew of this was that I was promised it should basically be a national holiday and that I would see naked people. No other info was forthcoming. Well of course I was like let's go. I find out it's a race. 7 miles from the bay, to the breakers (in the ocean). But this isn't just a race. It's true people run the event, but most of the people come for the shenanigans. When we stepped onto the streets of San Fran I saw people. Tons of people. Almost all of them dressed in some different costume. I mean there were people dressed as EVERYTHING. Name anything you can think of and someone was dressed as it. Think of a planet, a vegetable, a concept, or even an app. And you could find someone dressed as it at the Beta Breakers. And yes, there were people who didn't dress at all. Obie and I made our way to a bar where we were meeting her mates. They had reserved a section of this bar and we were supposed to meet them there, but we were a little early and they were a lot late. We hung out there for a little when a group came in all dressed as sailors. I'm gonna call them the motorboat crew. Why the motorboat crew? Well, to get this right, most of them were hot girls and a few were guys. They had a megaphone with a siren on it and every time they sounded the siren someone got motorboated. This infectious spirit even spread to our little old Asian bar tender (she being a recipient of such festivities). We were just sitting there drinking a beer and watching this when a couple guys give us jello shots. Now it's only 9:30 in the morning at this point. But what the hell right? It's Beta Breakers! And so all this goes on for a bit before Obie's friends show up around 10. And we continue to drink some more... 

 

Obie and the race

 

A cheap costume

 

A little while later we wander out of the bar and into the race area. Were we end up with the drunk crowd (rightfully so) of thousands of people all walking towards the beach. There are naked people, bananas, minions, animals, mythical creatures, apps, hippies, cops, and everything in the middle. We made it a couple miles through this massive block party with Obie's friends before they were too drunk to continue. Obie and I had to make to the breakers ourselves and a sobering 4 miles later we did just that! 

 

The drunks :)

Costumes

 

After a beautiful walk through the parks in San Fran Obie used this new über app and we got a ride all the way back to the BART, jumped on, got to her car, drove by her parents, and then made it to Napa where I got to spend the night hanging out with her awesome roommates! I had the best stir fry I have ever had in my life. Seriously. It was a godsend. 

 

The Breakers 

 

Now I know I'm not doing any of this justice BUT just know that this is all a million times cooler than I make it sound. It really is, I swear it. 

Keep it happy now, 

Beacon 

We are all controlled by Aliens!!!

Okay, wow. things have gone down rapid fire like. Where did I last leave off? Oh yeah, I was sitting in McDonalds... again.

At some point I decided it was time for some productivity. I probably forgot to mention I was right down the street from a truck stop. Perfect. I filled my water bottles and started hoofin' it that way. I walked up to the first person I saw who looked legit and asked him if he worked there. He did and I asked if I could look for a ride. He gave me a chunk of cardboard to make a sign and pointed me where I should stand.

My Sign

Now it was getting late in the day so I was kind of just sitting there doing nothing when a girl rode up on her bike. Now I say girl, but not a little girl on a bike with training wheels, no. This was a girl on a ghetto little bike around 30. She had track marks and scars all over her arms. Her clothes were torn an ripped and she didn't look like she had much. Her teeth looked like meth and it was sad. But regardless, she was so amazingly kind. She told me she knew what it was like to be stuck somewhere and how much it sucked, how she hated it and all. She told me about her dog, her boyfriend, and her mother. Then she gave me her boyfriends number (she didn't have a phone) and her mothers number too. Pointed me where she lived and told me I could stay on her couch for the night. Now honest to God, this was a wee bit sketchy for my taste. But how is it that the poorest of people are always the kindest? Her name was Taylor, and her boyfriend was Tom. She was just a really kind girl. It made my heart happy knowing there are cool people out there. Anyways, I watched her waddle away on her bike and about 10 minutes later a trucker pulled over next to me. I ran up and after reverting back to the basics of language (he didn't speak English well) I was in a truck on my way to West LA. Alberto was working honestly illegally. He'd snuck over from Mexico. We quickly became friends, mostly because I fed his craziness... I learned a lot of things from Alberto though. First off, did you know there are aliens that live inside the Earth? They live in the 7th dimension and are so incredibly smarter than us (we are only in the 5th dimension) AND they control the government too! You can get to them through a giant hole in the North pole, and you know the Northern lights? That's really just their sun shining from inside the Earth! Pretty awesome right!?! Needless to say Alberto taught me TONS, but he was still super nice. 

Alberto

 

 

He dropped me off somewhere in West LA. Almost out of the city, but not quite... At this point night was coming fast and I was ready to pass out. Plus I don't hitch in the dark. I knew there was a park near by and I walked over to it. On my way a nice homeless guy told me the best place to camp and he was spot on. The perfect spot! I set up my tent and passed out  exhausted from my first day of real hitching :)... 

 

 

Stealthing in LA

Mah tent

I woke up and no one was the wiser I had been there all night. I groggily walked out of camp, asked some dude for directions, and took off walking to get to the 101. A couple minutes down the road Ray (the guy I asked for directions) drove by and picked me up to take me to a good spot to hitch from. Now I'm not gonna lie, I was propositioned (if you know what I mean) during this ride. But I respectfully declined and Ray dropped me off to start hitching again. 

 

 

Ray

 

 

I was in a terrible hitching spot because I was still in the city. But honey badger don't care. 10 minutes later I was in the car with Rob (not to be confused with Ray) who was driving out to do some mountain biking! Exactly the ride I needed to get me out of LA once and for all. 

 

 

Rob

 

 

Rob dropped me off outside of town and my spirits were high! I was out of LA! Maybe I could actually make it to San Francisco from LA in one day after all. I stood on this corner for exactly an hour before Jen finally picked me up on her way to the beach. She had moved over to Cali in order to divorce her husband because it was socially unacceptable in Japan. Crazy.

 

 

Jen

She left me at a pretty good spot where Christian, a surfer dude, picked me up and took me all the way past Santa Barbara. Christian was pretty awesome. I really liked him a lot. He dropped me off past the city (per my request) and I put on my best hitching face. And no one picked me up. And no one continued picking me up. And I was getting bored. And defeated. 

Me bored and defeated

Until!!!! At long last someone pulls over to get me. And I meet Jim. Jim is amazing. Jim is awesome. Jim is so nice and so kind. Honestly, I was kind of worried at the beginning because no one is this nice. Jim took me into his car and decided he would take me with him to San Francisco! ALL THE WAY!!! Wooo! I got the ride!! He gave me a cliff bar, bananas, and we enjoyed sushi along the beautiful drive. He drove me about 300 miles and we didn't stop talking the entire way. What a genuinely amazing person. Jim, you're awesome. You're freakin' awesome. 

 Jim

He dropped me off in the middle of San Fran. I said goodbye to my new friend and wandered over to the BART (or whatever it is), which is like their subway. I used the $4 I was given yesterday to get a $3.75 ticket to where my friend Obie was gonna pick me up. I know Obie from the Appalachian Trail and she is so generous it's not even funny. What a great gal. On my way to meet her I did get a little lost though and met Kaley and Joe! They are from Oregon and we hit it off pretty good! Newly Facebook friended we parted, hopefully to meet again in Oregon! 

Kaley & Joe

I found my way to Obie (pictures to come) and that is the end of the story for now! I made tons of new friends, got propositioned by a gay guy, and learned about the aliens that live in the middle of the Earth. And I made it to San Francisco. Hells to the yeah.

Be happy y'all,

Beacon

  

So if you care to find me, look to the Western sky!

Man have I missed just sitting around like a homeless bum in McDonalds! It's really the perfect place to hang out. Cheap food, outlets, and free wifi. What more could the homeless vagabond want?  

When I last left you I had networked a ride to San Diego and we had just begun our trip. The day went by pretty much uneventfully and we ended in Wilcox (Arizona). To all of you who haven't been to Arizona, don't worry, it's exactly what you imagine it looks like. Megan and Caitlyn were nice enough to sneak me into their hotel room that night and we had a good fun night watching movies and going to bed early ('cause everything in that little town closed at 4). The next day we are on our way to San Diego, but there is a dilemma..... We weren't going to get there until like 5. That would really be too late for me to hitch out, and I didn't have a place to stay in San Diego. Megan was totally cool with me staying at hers, but I couldn't because her parents had no idea I had tagged along for this entire trip and apparently it was possible they wouldn't have approved. So props to Megan for smuggling me with her. And double props 'cause she doesn't hang me out to dry either. She calls up her friend Malcolm and, easy as that, I have a place to stay. But here comes the subterfuge, they drop me off with Malcolm's girlfriend Shay (I feel like I'm spelling that wrong) and then Megan and Caitlyn go to Megan's house. I then show up with Shay pretending to be her and Malcolm's friend. And wallah! I met Caitlyn again and somehow I knew Megan because we all went to the same high school (I kind of feel bad for making up a totally new identity for her parents!). Her dad made us fajitas and I stayed at Malcolm's place that night! It all worked out pretty great!
 

The next morning Megan, Caitlyn, and Shay all dropped me off on the highway outside of San Diego and I was on my way. Let me be honest here, hitching in South Cali has NOT been easy. So far I have made it to Riverside (outside of LA) and I am kind of stranded here. But anyways, they drop me off and I immediately start thumbin' it. They first person to give me a ride is Rob (who looked a lot like Brad Pitt) and he had hiked the PCT last year. He warned me the cops would give me trouble for hitching on the freeway and of course I ignored his warning. He dropped me off at a gas station and I walked back over to the interstate to start it up again. The next guy who picked me up was JR and he was super chill. Took me a ways and dropped me at another gas station where I walked back to the interstate to keep it up. At this point Rob's advice would've come in handy because a cop was the next person go pick me up. He gave me a slap on the wrist for standing on the interstate and dropped me off down the road at a gas station (pretty nice guy) after basically telling me I was gonna die. Next ride was from Dave and he only took me a little bit up the road, but it was still pretty good. And he dropped me off at a decent spot. Silly me though, I was hitching in the wrong spot for about half an hour before I realized it. As soon as I went to the right spot I got a ride from Lu who dropped me off at a mall where I got a ride from Brady! I was in an awkward spot and I kind of basically jumped in his car while he was driving. It all worked out, he confessed to me he had never picked up a hitchhiker before and we became good ol' friends. One thing I really love is taking peoples hitchhiking virginity. I feel like I am just introducing them to an entirely different world they never knew about before! He was super nice and dropped me off in Riverside. Riverside is part of the tumor I call LA. Seriously, look at the mass of roads and such that is LA and everything around. It is a massive tumor and a logistical nightmare for hitching! I got there mid afternoon and was hot and tired so I went to my favorite place as a homeless person. McD. It was there, just sitting that I met Claudia, a super nice woman who put $4 on my table for me when she left. I didn't have a choice in accepting it or I would have turned it down. I was the speculating taking the public bus out of the massive tumor with said $4 when Cheryl (not really her name, but it is closish) started talkin' to me! She was from Louisiana and decided to go out of her way to drive me a good 10 miles closer to getting out of the tumor!! This was exactly what I needed at this time as I was clueless on how to get out of Riverside. So thank you Cheryl!! Much appreciated! It also helped to confirm my theory that there is an invisible hitchhiking web between all McDs! I believe you can always get from a McD to another McD when hitching and that's exactly what she did. Awesomeness. 

It's only 4:30 here and I don't know if I can get a ride from here or where I am going to sleep tonight, but I'm off to find out!!! 

Be happy everyone,

Beacon.

P.S. I have been waiting to title a blog post this for so long! Good ol' Wicked

Shay

Malcolm 

Me, Shay, Megan, & Caitlyn

Rob

JR

Dave 

Cali is on fia 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Lu

Brady

Cheryl (still not her name) 

Happy Trails

You never hear anyone tell you happy trails in the real world. Seriously, I haven't heard someone tell me happy trails since I was on the Appalachian Trial. And, back then, whenever someone told you happy trails it was just so heartfelt because they understood what you were trying to do and they agreed with it on an intimate level. I almost couldn't handle it. I miss that sincerity in the real world. 

I've been hanging out with my friend Ariel recently. I've really only known her a few weeks but she has been incredibly kind to help me out towards this adventure. The details are complicated, but long story short she got me to Lubbock from San Antonio right when I needed to be there. She and her family were also kind enough to let me stay at their place last night. Seeing as I was about to meet her family she started giving me all sorts of disclosures on the car ride to Lubbock ya know? I didn't get any details, but apparently her dad used to be a hobo back in the day. But the real kind, train hoppin' and all. Of course I was extremely interested in meeting this man because what's better than meeting a veteran in the lifestyle you lead? Old traveling souls always have the most amazing stories and they never cease to inspire me in my ways. When I finally got to meet him I wasn't disappointed in the least. Don is an amazing man who led an amazing life with some amazing stories to remember it by. And it was while I was there, and Don was praying over dinner, that he wished me happy trails. That good ol' greeting I hadn't heard in forever and that my heart had been craving. Him and his wife Rebecca were crazy friendly and ridiculously fun. I got to eat Rebecca's famous chicken spaghetti and I got to hear Don's traveling spirit sing through his guitar strings that night. I met Jack and Bethany, Ariel's brother and sister, along with all their cats'n'dogs. It was kind of an amazing last night in Texas. And it's great knowing you can find the hobo folk in the strangest of places. 

After all that Ariel was sweet enough to drop me off the next morning at the house of some people I barely knew. Megan and I have met once before like a month ago. I found out she was headed West and awesomely enough she was willing to give me a ride. Her friend Caitlyn, who is also with us, I had never met at all. Ariel dropped me off at Caitlyn's house and now I am on my way to San Diego with a girl I'd only met once and another girl I'd only met never. And we have only gotten lost once
so far :)

More to come soon,

Happy Trails to all y'all

Beacon 

Don & Rebecca 

Ariel

Caitlyn & Megan 

This'll do, until the real adventure begins

I was driving to Lubbock from Fort Worth the other day when I saw an old man walking down the side of the frontage road. My hitchy senses were like "Okay Karma, I see you tossing me this bone, I got you girl". And so I go on this epic journey to turn around and make it back to this old man (because of course there couldn't be a simple U-turn, it had to be at an intersection of two different highways to make it more challenging). And knowing I was about to partake in a little hitchhiking adventure of my own I was more than a little excited to set my karma straight in life. This was exactly what I needed. It's really not that common to see hitchers 'round these parts (these parts being Texas) and I was worried someone else was gonna get to this guy before I did (as if everyone is as excited to get a hitchhiker as I am), but I ended up winning the race in the end. I pulled over to pick up Byron (was his name, though I don't know if I am spelling it correctly) and before ya' knew it we were like best buds. He had a gnarly awesome beard and smelled almost as good as I used to on the Appalachian Trail (sarcasm). Used to be a farmer and all sorts of cool things. He told me all about his hitching adventure of the past five years before I ended up buying him lunch at a truck stop and sending him off with all the good luck I could spare.

Continuing my drive to Lubbock, with all the excitement of a hitchhiker settling in, I see another pair of hitchhikers on the side of the road. How lucky can I get? Three hitchhikers in one day? Crazy right? I throw on my hazards and pull up in front of the two even before they have their thumbs up. This was a real treat for me, these were real hitchhikers. Making their way from Mississippi to New Mexico for some awesome camping trip. You never see real hitchers around here, and I found some! She was 21 and he was 24, and they were both incredibly nice. This was their first time hitching anywhere so we shared some stories about our hitching experiences and I gave them all the tips I could to help them get along on their way to New Mexico. I was so happy to be a part of their first hitching trip. But what I really mean to say is, it's always nice to welcome someone to the family. We spent a good couple hours getting to know each other before I dropped 'em off a little out of my way with my car USB charger (a necessity for modern hitching) to help them along. Yet again, thanks Karma... for throwing me a bone. Seriously though, how lucky can you get?

All this was the perfect way to get me ready to hitch up Seattle way. I'm super pumped to get pointed in that direction. I'm leaving around the 13th of May, hitching to Seattle, to go work in Alaska for the summer.  I really am excited, but, as life always sees fit to do, I have been meeting all the awesomest of people lately. And they almost make me regret leaving for adventure.... Almost, but not quite. Sometimes the call to adventure is just so strong there is nothing you can do about it. But oh well. Adventure here I come! I still won't forget all the amazing people I've met in the past couple weeks. I hope to meet up with you all again soon, but until then, and until the real adventure starts, I will miss y'all.

Be happy,

Beacon